Communication and Expectations

I recently found myself in two (very different) situations this summer that got me thinking about the students in my classroom.

My reason for sharing these stories is all about communication and expectations with students in our classrooms, not to belittle anyone involved in the stories or in hopes of sympathy.

As a teacher, it is very difficult to get married and have a proper honeymoon during the school year. I got married last November and decided to postpone my honeymoon until the summer. Best decision ever! My husband works a flexible job where he earns many comp hours, so we took a two week trip to Ireland and Paris. We couldn't have been more excited - that is, until we got to the airport. Long story short - EVERY flight we were on had a delay, we experienced two schedule changes, and our luggage was lost for three days. That was just getting to Europe. Unfortunately, coming home was no different. Our airline company did what they could to make sure we arrived to our destinations. However, the communication was lacking. We were delayed on every flight we were scheduled on, each with no explanation or realistic timelines provided by the staff. The staff was very impatient and, instead of talking to us, posted updates on the computer monitors displayed around the terminal. Every ten minutes there would be another ten minute delay. Why get our hopes up if you know that the flight is delayed an hour? I know why... ten minute intervals appears better than one 60 minute chunk.

Don't we do this as teachers? "Beat around the bush" and "sugar coat" information that we feel might not be received well? Adults don't like this and students are no different. Being direct (while remaining professional and polite) would have been better in a situation such as this. In the end, we all want to know the truth and be given as much information as necessary - our students are no exception.

First time home buying is a very exciting and stressful experience. My husband and I took the plunge and are buying our first home together. My husband and I are blindly being led by our real estate agent. Don't get me wrong, he is a very busy and hard working man, but sometimes lacks in the area of communication. There have been many common things that have popped up throughout this journey that we didn't know were possible. We have been blindly doing whatever is asked of us the moment it is asked. We were not once told, "here is what to expect..." or "it is common for this to happen..." until AFTER the event.

As a fourth grade teacher, I am used to providing more information than is necessary. Students need clear expectations before beginning any assignment in the classroom. This is a key idea that every profession should cling on to. Again, why are we any different than the students in our classroom?

Fast forward to the week of closing. As per usual with purchasing a home, our closing date was delayed twice. This would have been fine with us, but we were not given any warning or fair expectations of the situation. Instead of being direct and saying "there is no way we can make this happen today...", we have been told "there is still a small chance." This raises false expectations of the situation and gets us excited about the possibility, even though there wasn't a chance to begin with.

I encounter this on a daily basis. Students often ask: "may we take a second recess?" or "can we have five extra minutes of this game?" Instead of the common response of "we'll see", I simply say "no." Trust me - students appreciate the clear and concise answer. Two minutes of disappointment is better than two hours of false hope. You're not only practicing good classroom management, you are earning their trust. Telling a student (or class) "we'll see" and not following through creates a resentful classroom atmosphere.

Just remember - if it upsets you as an adult, think about how similar situations affect our young students.